Wednesday, March 30, 2011

11 weeks 5 days... WOW

Wow.. that's pretty much all I have to say right now.. wow.. we've almost made it to week 12! But it would be rude  not to acknowledge little ol' week 11 a little bit, even though not much has changed.
What the beaner has been up to:
SO here's what the bump says about our little beaner at week 11

Yep, we have a perfect homemade lime growing in there! And once again, though I may be a little biased, Aunt Julie, I would have to say that our little lime is sweeter and more lovely than the beautiful limes you grew on your tree last summer. sorry, next week you can take the award back he he! 

So couple things about what our little lime is up to in there that I thought was pretty cool:
The favorite past time and game right now for our little lime is exploring the face with his/her little hands, oh and our little lime can now smell... hmmm makes me a little curious as to what the womb smells like... I'd like to think it smells warm and homey.. maybe like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies? Mmmmm cookies... ok maybe it's just one of my cravings, but I still would like to think our little lime is in a nice smelling place.

What the Mommy has been up to:

 Last night Jeff and I took a tour of the birthing center at the hospital that we have been going to. Holy crap was that an eye opener..First of all, there were four other couples there and if you have seen that Sesame Street episode where they sing "one of these things just doesn't belong here".. well that was us, we were the only ones who weren't ready to just check in or stay at the clinic, my little 11 week bump was sad compared to all these huge baby bellys. That part made me excited and sad all at the same time. I soooo want for people to be able to see that I'm pregnant! This in between "just looking chubby" stage seriously sucks. The funny thing was I found myself pushing my own little tummy out when I was around those other big bellys he he! I know it will all come soon enough.. but after waiting for as long as we have to get here I just want that belly now. Ok, besides the monster bellys that were everywhere, there was the tour of the birthing rooms, the discussion about bouncing on balls and spa bathtubs that they have in the rooms to help with pain and positioning during the birthing process. Wow! After steadying myself and doing everything in my power to refrain from losing my crackers from fear, it became very apparent to me that I have no idea how this process works and I'm scared to death!!! I have yet to watch any videos or anything about this process and I realize that my only knowledge comes from the screaming women I have seen on tv or in the movies. Am I ready for this?? Yikes!! The idea of labor scares the pants off of me!! I guess the hubby and I are going to need to attend some of the education classes they offer. (gulp)
 The hospital is only a year old and really state of the art and beautiful... the rooms were really nice and I love that their philosophy is that they don't take the baby and mommy away from each other, the baby stays in the room the whole time after delivery (unless mom requests the baby be taken to the nursery for a while).

Let's see what else have we been up to? Oh yeah, we decided that we didn't have enough stress right now so we've decided that we are going to move and build a new house, all hopefully before the baby is born in October! I know.. Crazy.. yeah, a little bit (or maybe a ton), but we really want to move closer to my family (lord knows I'm going to need help after the baby comes) and feel our house isn't set up for a newborn (especially knowing the neurotic ocd newbe parents we are going to be). So, we have been packing and getting ready to put our house on the market. Scary, but pretty exciting at the same time. And it gives me something else to obsess about instead of worrying that something is not right with our little beaner.

Physically I'm feeling a little better, the nausea fairy pretty much only attacks in the evening now, and I have started to get some appetite back, in fact my cravings, unlike most women I have heard from, is mainly meat (and ice cream, though not together)!! I have been eating a ton of grilled chicken (yummmmy) and any kind of meat just makes my tummy growl. Is that weird?? I think it may also have to do with my spring fever and wanting to be able to grill !! Our deck is still covered in snow and I don't see our grill coming out of the garage for at least a week or two still. Thank god for the Foreman grill :o)

I don't have another ultrasound until  April 18th (my birthday)! I wish we could get in sooner, but the clinic says once a month is all they will do if there are no problems with the pregnancy.  Last week I was in a car accident and I should have gone in to make sure everything was ok, but the clinic said that since it was low impact and I wasn't hurt, that unless there is bleeding, cramping, or a fluid leaking, there is no reason to suspect that anything was wrong since the baby is really cushioned still in there at this stage. Sigh. I still would like an ultrasound just to reassure myself that all is ok. Dr. C told us that if we ever were worried and wanted one in between our regular ultrasounds to give their clinic a call and come on in.. I may have to do that just to put my mind at ease. April 18th is a long time away still.

I know I haven't taken any pictures of the belly lately.. but I suppose at week 12 I will get the camera out again. I just don't feel like the belly is growing.. so I have been a little camera shy.

Well that's all for now.. just a couple days away from making it to week 12!
Does that mean we will be in our 2nd tri? or isn't that until the beginning of week 13? Anyone know for sure (I've heard both).

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Do I get to keep my pants on ?

I know  I'm a little late on this posting but we wanted to wait until after yesterday's appointment where we were supposed to hear the baby's heartbeat (which of course in true Kim and Jeff fashion didn't happen). But here's the update: as of Friday I was 10 weeks pregnant which means our little jelly beaner is now the size of a kumquat or a prune (I think a Kumquat sounds cuter than a wrinkly prune and funny thing, neither Jeff nor I have ever eaten either of them). In case you don't know what a Kumquat looks like (I didn't) here's a picture
Pretty cute I'd say! grow baby, grow!
And here's the wrinkly prune (hmmmm)

So last night we were supposed to have an OB appt at 5:50 to hear the heartbeat. I was so excited and nervous! I thought this will be a piece of cake, I will even get to keep my pants on for once.. woo hoo.. what a nice change after sharing my who-ha with pretty much everybody at the RE office, this was going to be a quick in and out appointment. SO our CNP has me unzip my pants and scoot them down my hips a little (still have them on though) and then slops the freezing cold goop on my tummy and puts the doppler machine on it and starts moving it around.... I hear nothing... she continues to push it down and move it in circles with this serious look of concentration on her face. Uh Oh... this doesn't look good. She points out something that kind of sounded like the sound you hear when you put a sea shell up to your ear and says that's you. Um Ok, if you say so. After about 10 minutes she says, well I can't find it so we're going to have to have you do another vaginal ultrasound this evening to make sure everything is ok. Hmmmph there goes my pants. They tell me to get dressed and usher us back out to the waiting room, where, in tears, I sit with Jeff and wait for the sonographer to fit us in after all the other appts. Of course it's not a quiet room, we happen to be sharing it with the Hillbilly family who are loudly talking about how they can't wait to find out what the daughter is having so they can tell the brother whether or not he is an uncle?!?! I wanted to walk over to them slap the mom on the head and say "No genius if she has a girl he's an auntie".. grrrr. Anyway, after 30 minutes of listening to Jethro and gang discuss going to the casino and playing video games they move us to another room to wait for the sonographer.. which takes an additional 30 minutes. I have to say that was one of the longest hours of my life and one I don't ever want to experience again. Finally the sonographer does her thing (and not gently may I add, they need to have a lesson in handling those wands..ouch) and though we don't get to hear the heartbeat we got some beautiful pictures of Baby M.
The heartbeat was strong at 170 beats per minute and we got to see some arms and legs too.

What's going on with me: I continue to feel nauseous off and on and am still soooo tired all the time ( I have yet to give up my naps). But the big thing with me these days is how sensitve my nose has gotten to any and all smells. I think I have been channeling my basset hounds nose because lately my poor dog has gotten a poor rap as I am constantly thinking I am smelling dog pee or poop in the house (which just isn't there). I proceed to walk around the house with my nose in the air sniffing and "scenting" trying to find the area that is the culprit today, then, just like my dog I get on all fours and begin crawling around the carpet trying to find where the smell is coming from. I will do this for an hour, and it's not uncommon for Jeff to come back in the house after taking Ellie outside to go potty that I will be under the dining room table on all fours with my nose to the rug trying to discern where the smell is coming from. I have yet to find where the odor is coming from, and Jeff definitely doesn't smell it every time I say there is something stinky, and my poor dog keeps getting febreezed (doggy brand) which she hates. Hmmm I hope this nose/smell thing dies down before our little Kumquat has odor in his/her diapers.. we'll need to take stock in clothespins otherwise.

Other than that I continue to bust out of my clothes and came to the sad realization the other day while I was getting dressed that sometime in the future I will have to buy granny panties (?!?)... this I do not look forward to!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

And round one goes to Morning sickness..

First of all let me say that I wish I had kept my mouth shut when I said "Oh I'm feeling better and not hating food".. hmmph.  I haven't felt this bad since the morning after my 21st birthday! The Nausea Fairy has attacked again but this time she brought her damn army.. holy crap have I felt like total dog doo the last couple of days.. they have been rough.

Can I also go on the record saying that some of my symptoms I must rate as highly ridiculous and very unnecessary! I mean how can something the size of an olive make me feel so crappy? Let's just go down the list shall we..

Morning Sickness- Yep, I think I have already shared my complete disdain for the Nausea Fairy.. but I have a bone to pick with whomever named this lovely time "morning" sickness.. I call bullshit on that one.. my nausea starts the minute I get out of bed and doesn't let up until I finally force myself to fall asleep at night. My remedy: It has been ginger cookies (they are my savior right now) BUT I am now out of them, thanks to my dog, who, while I had to run to the porcelain goddess this afternoon, chowed down my last cookie as quickly as she could. I was in the bathroom on the floor "praying" and I hear my dog jump down from the bed and start chomping on something.. the rest was like a slow motion movie as I ran to her and tried to pry the cookie out of her mouth...*sigh* I saved a portion of the cookie from going down her belly.. and the sad part was I considered eating it knowing that it was the last I had left (you'll be happy to know I didn't)

Constipation - I understand quite well that there is such a thing as T.M.I. but this is a common courtesy I regretfully do not believe in while I am pregnant, sorry mom and dad. They tell me this is a natural problem, dammit!?!? And it doesn't help that I am hormonal, I seek my chance to complain, and complain I shall. This symptom has been my worst enemy since around week 7. Next to my Endometrin box that sits on the edge of the bathtub to make my 4 times a day useage more handy (HA!) sits my tucks wipes... *sigh* I am young.. this is something I do NOT wish to learn about yet, but I will say that if any of you fellow pregnant women are reading this today.. do not force things.. it only causes bigger problems that require tucks.. enough said.

Gas- Ok I know I have mentioned this in previous postings.. but last night I was pretty sure that if Jeff didn't anchor me down somehow I would shoot myself into space I was so gassy. I have added Gas-X to my diet and have tried to increase water consumption.. though it just makes me have to pee even more and I already feel like I live in the bathroom.. sheesh.

Heartburn or Indigestion - I am young, I have never really experienced these things, until now. They aren't pleasant, and I dread getting older. I thought at one point I must be having a heart attack or something today.. OUCH. not cool

Headaches - Ok, I really can't complain too much here as I have always been plagued by migraines and so far (knock on wood) I haven't had those, but these headaches are relentless and they never stop, it's like chinese water torture the pain just slowly bores a hole in my crazy brain.

Frequent crying or anger for no God given reason whatsoever - I found myself crying at a Law and Order episode today (really?)... and then again while I was convincing myself not to eat the cookie covered in dog slobber....Oh, and I'm pretty sure my neighbors are going to turn me in for yelling at my poor dog every time I take her outside, like telling her 100 times in a loud voice is going to make her go potty any quicker. I mean I am usually a calm person,  but lately I feel like I am going absolutely bonkers...and I know it is just starting (poor Jeff)

Fatique and Insomnia- Can't sleep enough but can't sleep at night at all?!?!? If I am not up going pee 10 times a night I am up because I just can't get comfortable and stay asleep. I will say I am not complaining about the naps though.. those are kinda fabulous!

Sciatica?!?  Wow, I didn't even know what this was before last weekend. I knew it was something that old people complained about, but I had no clue how evil this little nerve was. I was riding around in the car with Jeff last weekend when all of a sudden I thought my butt cheek was going to explode.. there was fire blaring through my butt cheek and down the back of my leg so bad that I thought I was going to cry. Now it comes and goes, and like to rear it's ugly little head when I try and relax at night or when I lay down to go to sleep. Grrr this is something I hope doesn't last the whole pregnancy. I have heard that yoga is supposed to help so I will have to try and drag my butt out of bed, peel my eyes open and crampy/crabby/and pukey or not do the damn dvd that I bought. (guess it doesn't work to just watch it huh? bummer)

Ok.. so that just about does it for today... It's been a rough week so far but I still love my little Olive more then I can put into words..he/she has fingers and toes instead of paddles now I mean how cute is that to picture he/she waving at me from in there? 

On a happy note Jeff is upstairs making me more ginger cookies (phew) I can throw away the part that I salvaged from the dogs mouth I guess. he he he

Saturday, March 12, 2011

We've broken new ground...

So here we are ... we made it past week 8 and have officially broken new ground in this process. YAY! Our little jelly bean is also breaking new ground this week... leaving the cute and precious raspberry phase and entering the OLIVE phase?!? Hmmm I guess this one is for you Aunt Julie :o)
Our little jelly bean also has made it out of the embryo stage and is now officially a fetus. He/She has all the basic structures in place now and is beginning to look less like an alien and more like.. well.. a baby! 

As for me...well I continue to explode out of all my clothes, both top and bottom, and still take daily trips on the nausea roller coaster, though I have actually started waking up feeling better AND the sight of all food is no longer sending me running for the bathroom or holding my nose so I don't gag. In fact... the pile of random snacks that you see below are for my first craving that I've had since before the nausea fairy started kicking my butt on a daily basis. I mentioned to Jeff that my craving was for peanut butter rice krispy bars (I have no clue where that came from either) and he went out and bought, not only the stuff to make that kind but in true Jeff fashion (indulging my cravings X10) he bought the stuff to make, I think he said 6 different varieties of rice krispy treats!! Not going to help the exploding buttons on my pants situation I know.. but how completely fabulous is that?
Today Jeff has planned some adventures for us to go do.. not sure what they entail yet (not that it matters I know from past adventures the day will involve good food, and lots of laughs.. he's such a good hubby) but I know that sometime  tonight I will be filling my belly with yummy goooooey peanut butter rice krispy treats.. mmmm
OK I said that I would post a belly pic this week (gulp) So this morning I had Jeff take a couple....but I warn you all this was rolling right out of bed without being able to touch my makeup or hair yet ! 
I can definitely see some major pregnant bloat.. but not sure where the pregnant bloat stops... and the belly bump begins???
 Next appointmet is the 21st... we are going to hear our little Olives heartbeat.. can't wait.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Where is Cliff Huxtable ?

I had my first OB appointment yesterday and I have to say I was a little sad that the illusion I had in my head of a "Dr. Huxtable" being there every step of the way and being on call at all times to calm me down when I become a crazy pregnant woman (even more then I already am that is) is not the case at all. The CNP that examined me said that most women just see whichever MD fits with their schedule and that it's not uncommon to see all the MD's throughout the pregnancy. I asked about delivery then and she said at that point I won't care who is delivering the baby. Hmmmm. Ok. I guess the old fashioned way of having one doctor who does it all is just that...old fashioned? 
So that means that  I guess that my Who-ha has a welcome mat in front of it and is open to all who want to see it ?!? Weird.

Other than finding out I'm no longer "special" like I was at Dr. C's (don't think I'm going to be getting hugs and be known by name at the new clinic), the appointment went just fine. My uterus is measuring right where it is supposed to and the CNP assured me that week 8 and 9 are the worst for morning sickness symptoms and that after that it should start to get better.. phew!

I will be going back in 2 weeks to hear the heartbeat.. I'm so excited ! Until then baby keeps kicking my butt every day and I remain feeling like Kermit... and looking like porn star barbie (I swear I went to bed with my own boobs and woke up with someone elses... not cool). Soo tired all the time right now... it's a task to get my butt out of bed, and I turn into a cranky toddler if I don't get my nap...but I'm happy and embracing this adventure called pregnancy, even while dry heaving.

We will reach week 9 on Friday and I think I will be ready to post some belly pics starting then...

Wondering if other women have thoughts about the sex of their baby.. I "feel" that there is a boy in there... just a feeling but that's what keeps coming up for me...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

dear morning sickness...

Let me preface this posting by saying that I can't put into words how excited and grateful I am to be pregnant, and that I am not really complaining too much, but what's up with the morning sickness fairy taking hold of my life only after I am no longer asking for it and needing it?!? I will say that I have been fortunate (I suppose) that I have only had to pray to porcelain goddess one time, otherwise it's just the nausea monster pushing me around all day.

Today I am 8 weeks 4 days pregnant which means my little jelly bean in there is growing leaps and bounds.

Our little one is the size of a raspberry now (how freaking cute is that.. what a pretty little fruit)....and is putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk (I don't like that word.. I'm not growing a tree in there sheesh) And, though I can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. How cool is that?

As I started to share in the beginning of this blog, I'm a lot more barfy this week, too, but still nothing that is crippling me. Jeff has made me some wonderful ginger cookies to help me fight the nausea ( I told him there is a market for this babies yummm). Who knows, but so far I'm pretty stinking lucky to avoid bowing to the porcelain godess on a regular basis. I really just feel it lumping up in the back of my throat most of the day and food looks totally disgusting to me even if I'm starved. And when I become famished that's when I really feel nauseated, so it's truly a vicious cycle. Starving but nauseated. Fun times, I tell you. (again not complaining.. ok kinda)

But the gas, you guys, wow. Ok, I think what I'm lacking in puking time I've made up for in gas. And bloat. And a disgusting taste in my mouth all the time. And peeing a lot. And sore boobs. Which, btw, are like porn star boobs in my opinion... not cool. I definitely didn't need help in that area and now I just look like I'm going to fall over. Jeff took me shopping last weekend because the unlovely present that I've received from two IVF cycles full of hormones and antibiotics, is nothing to wear in my closet... seriously, I went from a size 2/4 to now a size 8/10.. I have one hell of a closet full of clothing that covers all sizes and I'm slowly trying to embrace my larger size with the realization that I do have an amazing little angel growing in there right now and I'm trying to just go with it.. but it's not easy.

And then there is the fatigue... ai-yah!! So this week I am starting to feel Fatigue like none other. I know I've said that before , but I am not joking with the following scenario: I came home from class today and almost fell asleep at the wheel. Then walking up our stairs took me about 10 minutes because I couldn't muster up the energy to put one foot in front of the other. When I finally arrived upstairs, I had to literally collapse on the bed and just rest my eyes before I could even change clothes or take Ellie out to go potty. I tried to get Ellie to fetch my lounge clothes for me but I think we need to work on her listening skills. I am both impressed and a little frightened of my new found ability to sleep..and nap. Seriously. Let me give a little shout out to naps on the couch. Holla at your girl. I love you much. See you in a few hours, no doubt, drooling onto every single throw pillow we own is my new goal, and since Jeff is going to a hockey game tonight I have no doubt that the nap fairy will smack me on the head tonight.

So that's that. Me and my blueberry turned raspberry are hanging at 8 weeks trying to remain calm and stay awake....

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

What a beautiful sight

Baby Mensing ! Measuring in at 7 weeks 5 days :o)

Heart beat of 158bpm
 The tears were flowing today at the clinic, but they were tears of happiness and relief! The ultrasound went perfect, and Dr C said that we have a very healthy baby growing in there. I don't think I have ever held my breath so hard as when he said, "ok let's have a look". I can't explain the sheer joy that overcame me when he pointed out that little flicker on the screen, I'm pretty sure my own heart skipped a beat or two.  He also pointed out the little arm and leg buds that are starting already, if paddles can be beautiful that's what they were to me. What a huge relief it is to know that we've passed this gigantic hurdle!! Dr. C said that now that we have seen the heartbeat that our chance of miscarriage goes down to 4% !! I'm just happy to make it out of the blueberry stage... on to many more fruits and veggies ...
I'm still a little in shock and disbelief at this point, but I know that I will finally be able to sleep tonight :o)
Oh yeah, and Jeff says it has everything to do with the fact that he wore his lucky sweater (same one that got us good results last time) and I wore my "Life is good" socks (same ones I wore on the day of the transfer) whatever the reason... we are just so blessed that Baby M has decided to give us a chance and we can't wait to get to know Baby M as he/she grows in there.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

How am I going to get through today?

The stress of waiting for tomorrow's utlrasound appointment is now definitely affecting everything I am thinking and doing.  Unfortunately the emotions took over today in class when I was supposed to be videotaped doing therapy with a couple who were facing infertility issues and who had gone through a miscarriage, so they adopted two children and then accidentally gotten pregnant (can't believe I pulled that scenario). I just about lost it during taping and then even after I collected myself I was completely not present for the rest of the session. Luckily I have a very understanding professor who helped me through it, but I'm just so tired of not being able to celebrate this pregnancy and have this fear completly control me and affect my life. So as nervous as I am for the appointment tomorrow, I really need to know.

I am soooo hopeful that tomorrow I will be posting good news and will finally be able to embrace what should be one of the most exciting times in my life.